Lets Get Real: Anxiety & How I'm Trying to Deal With It
For the past year or so I’ve been struggling with anxiety and I get anxiety attacks pretty bad. I went through a pretty tough time mentally the past few years and was made to feel like I could never be myself through forms of mental abuse. It's a rough thing to deal with, especially with it coming from somebody you are supposed to trust. I never really thought it bothered me but it obviously did. When I think back to a few years ago, I had so much confidence and now I constantly second guess myself in so many areas. Work life, how I look at myself in the mirror and even how I think.
I won't go into the ins and outs here, because it's not something I want to re-live to the whole world, but if you feel like you need to know more because you feel it's a similar situation to you then message me on Insta and I'll go through it with you.
There are some days where I just find everything really overwhelming. It could be a phone ringing or someone in the background talking and it feels like it really invades my personal space and my heart starts racing and I find it hard to breathe or think straight. Combine this with my short temper and you have a certified recipe for disaster.
I tend to get angry over the smallest thing and just sit in a deep rage, anger boiling within me and it's really not healthy to do that. Sometimes it ends up lasting hours so I'm really trying to tackle it head on and stump my anger out completely.
I’ve recently been thinking about how every single person on this earth has baggage. Everyone. I came to thinking, what if you could actually see that baggage? I don’t want to be hauling around some huge heavy bag full of memories that no longer matter. From now on I’m choosing to travel light, I choose what memories matter to who I am as a person and what memories don’t.
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it. (Thank you Pinterest for the inspo, you have never spoke truer words)
No, I’m not magically fixed, but I’ve decided I’m going to think more into why I’m feeling overwhelmed and be a little more logical about what gets me down.
I’ve set reminders on my watch which tell me to breathe deeply for a moment and I’m going to try implement this into my daily life. If I feel an attack coming on I’ll stop and breathe deeply until I am calm again or I'll remove myself from the situation for a short while. The same for when I am angry.
Is this a logical thing to be angry about? Will it matter this same time tomorrow? If not put it out of your mind and breathe. If it will, find a solution to the problem and fix it.
You are only angry because you allow yourself to be angry. You are only anxious because you allow yourself to be. Nobody and nothing else decides this for you and I need to keep reminding myself of that.
How am I going to achieve putting these things out of my mind?
Well when I start to think about them I will:
Call up my friends for a chat, see if they’re free for a FaceTime or if I can go see them
Do breathing exercises to help me relax as mentioned above
Exercise, I plan on doing a home workout, eventually going to the gym when things re-open again, going for a walk or a run
Go lay with my dogs and snuggle them for a while
Blast my favourite songs and sing along to them
Count my blessings, it helps me to think about everything positive happening in my life and everything I like about myself rather than being swallowed by the negativity and letting it take over
Read a book. An easy way to take your mind off things and get lost in a completely different world
What I’m not going to do anymore is keep it to myself and let it swallow me whole. This entire thing is about mindset and I’m going to try and conquer it.
I believe I have the ability to so it’s just sticking to it and eventually I will beat it.
I have a long way to go but I have already come so far in my battle, it would be stupid to give up now.
If anybody has any other tips please do let me know, the more the merrier and if you are feeling the same way, my inbox is always open for a chat and I really don’t mind listening if you need to get it all off your chest.
- Kaye xo